"Woe to those... They say, "We want G-d to speed up his work, to hurry it along, so we can see it! We want the Holy One of Isra'el's plan to come true right now, so we can be sure of it!"
how true is this is our lives? we want to be finished with school so we can begin working. we want to be married so we can start a family. we want our kids to be bigger so we can do what we want with our time.
what about what the Lord wants for us right now? right now, in this moment, what is he calling us to?
he wants me to be a better wife right now; to speak tom's love language (words of encouragement and kindness) and not just do all the acts of service that i think he should receive as love. this is hard, people. stretching. challenging. angering. i don't succeed very often, so i'm trying harder.
he wants me to learn more about who he is. i need to make more time for learning -- through the portion, the matthew study, listening to him and asking him questions. this seems simple, right? but between two kids and loving a husband, it's a challenge. one i try to take on every day.
instead of saying, Lord, when the kids are in school, then i'll study your word more and talk to you more, i'll pray more and be more bold when i'm sharing who you are with other people, i'm saying, Lord, i want to take this day to be more of who you want me to be. if people look at me weird, then i'll have to get over it. if i don't get as much sleep, then i'll have to be rejuvenated in your presence. if i fail to love tom the way he needs, i'll have to humble myself and ask for forgiveness. then change. am i doing this?
with the grace and power of the Holy Spirit, i'm working on it.
and even as i write this it's blaringly obvious: pride. if i allow the Lord to humble me then i will grow more into his image. humility. it's easier said than felt.
(i know this portion is about waiting for the Lord in the coming days, but i'm taking this to a personal level.)
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4 comments:
Wow, does that hit home or what. It's really easy for me to *do* things. I'm a doer. So I fill up my time doing things - for the Lord or for Eric - when really what I think they both want from me at times is a little more margin in my life, a little more me. It's amazing how often the Lord has to show me something in my relationship with Eric for me to see the parallel in my relationship with Him. Or perhaps I've seen it out of the corner of my eye, but it takes the louder, more tangible encounter with Eric to catch my attention.
Forgive me, Lord, as I'm coming back to You.
something for "servants" and "givers" and "rulers" to take to heart, huh? the more i talk with people of those persuasions i see our second commandment overtaking our first. it's a fine line of action.
Indeed, and one that we can continue to discuss at length, since this seems to be our own personal Leah-Susan blog.
i just found this blog, so i'll try to join in sometime after i've read the portion. i have to admit, i skipped the blog and came straight to the comments. that's pretty funny now that i think about it. is that like reading the oral llaw and skipping the torah?
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